honesty

well i just woke up and i had that feeling you get before ocd,like what it was like to be normal.it only lasted a few minutes but it was nice.i had to get honest with myself.having been struggling so long the past 8 years or so.i have felt like dying,but not commiting suicide.i dont want to commit suicide ,not for how others will feel,which is the luxury of more unselfish men.rather,i don't want to give up hope for myself.but i can understand why someone would want to commit suicide with this disease.i have been relatively ok ,but the truth is i suffer daily.and nearly every day i feel like dying or crying,or raging or whatever.i just read an email from a friend on the holy spirit and feel it should be posted on the sight.call it a god thing.since going to aa,i have seen and learned more about the spiritual life.the surrendering that must take place,the turning your will over to that of Gods will.this is the answer we are seeking.it can be masked and deluded by people, but i have seen enough and learned enough of these spiritual truths.i would like to thank my friend for sending me this precious letter.i may hedge around a bit,but we owe our way out to the Lord.and the teachings and spiritual principles to live by.we could all use the reenergizing of the great spirit.not meaningless religion full of mere ritual.im beginning to sound like bill w. from aa.lol.he wanted people to get the essence of christ.not religion,which never worked in the past for drunks.much of what was said in the letter i had learned in aa.i never knew i had resentments.it just wasnt natural for me to talk to myself in spiritual terms.so the answer comes from within.and we can derive pleasure from resources such as psychology as well.j

Some more links

another great link TAF and just because we think something makes it more real?


and this one http://www.scienceiq.com/ShowFact.cfm?ID=573

HEY!it pasted!

Cognitive Approaches to Obsessions and Compulsions: Theory, Assessment, and Treatment - Page 16edited by Randy O. Frost, Gail Steketee - Psychology - 2002 - 525 pagesTallis suggested that these unfortunate coincidences may have resulted in thedevelopment of the patients' TAF and led to the subsequent development of OCD. ...Limited preview - All matching pages
wow,i cut ,copires and pasted something.this is a good article,i hope it will work,if not oh,well.here goes.j

Google Books for information on OCD and Scrupulosity

Google Book - find more by typing key words great stuff

musing

hello all.just musing.i know there is a god because this page exists for pure-o's.and even regulars.ive come to realize that ocd is amazingly dumb.but what causes us to think ourselves into such complex conundrums.the ocd is like a computer program,collecting data and making sense of the fears we have about lifes issues.the problem is, ITS INCORRECT.sure,there are guys like my bud pureo that i can relate to.especially the deep logic the pure-o thinking creates as it interprets goings on in the world around it.but i wonder,where does my brain come up with this shit.its not a disease for the unintelligent,yet we are reduced to near uselessness because of it.its like an idiot-savant kind of thing on a lower IQ scale.lol.its like we have to figure out this puzzle in our head,on top of all the things we need to be doing.our brains are multitasking,dealing with ocd thoughts ,mixed with strait thoughts.
for example,im studying for an exam, but its not even about the exam.my head is formulating ocd puzzles as i study.what im really dealing with is the 'ocd world' and not even the exam.much of my thinking is this ocd matching up of external stimuli,not even on the subject matter of the exam.what a waste of disk space!j

Unjust or Just Unfair

Why was I chosen to have this stupid thought in my mind. Seems like I am being punished for doing nothing wrong and so is so much of the world for so many different types of illnesses and diseases and hardships. This is a spiritual disease as much as it is a physical one as Jeff would say. I changed the links section around limiting it down to the best links. Also I'm trying to figure out ways of improving the site, if you have suggestions please comment. Well anyway I was screamed at today because I am sick in the head. My mom doesn't understand and neither do I. I feel helpless like maybe I am being punished for a previous life or for the sins of my ancestors. I don't understand how this suffering I am facing is just in a world where it seems the a..holes in life get everything while the true and humble have to suffer. I am not saying i am the greatest person but I was put down so much in school that maybe my self esteem created more chemical imbalances in my mind or maybe i was just prone to this happening. Doesn't matter much i can suppose all i want...Truth is this happened and I'm thinking about my eternity as coming back as retarted except i have to remember one thing God is eternal and he saw this coming before it even happened just like he knows the eternal future of the world before that even happened. But where did God come up with the time to create time before he even thought about time and what is the meaning of life. Makes you wonder especially when all one does is suffer all day. All I can do is pray that this goes away and have faith and try to elevate my prayers to the heavens. I am currently seeing a psychologist who is very expensive but the insurace is covering half. Not like expensive means better although he seems much more professional than my last psychologist. I am currently taking cymbalta xanax xr and ativan if I am extra anxious. I feel addicted to these pain killers. If i don't take it the pain in the right side of my head is so much worse. Hope everyone can overcome this nonsensical bullshit our own minds concocted~ Peace PureO