a glimmer of hope

hello all fellow pure-o ocd sufferers!!hope you are all hanging in there.please post a comment on the page to let us know your out there!
i was reading a book on grace and how God lets some people suffer afflictions.we have to accept our condition first of all.now, i know your saying,no,im going to fight it!but the book goes on to say that after we accept our disorder,we can seek out any way neccessary to get better(i.e.medical,psychology,ect.)but it is clear this form of pure-o has a spiritual foundation,much like that of recovering from an adiction.of course,we all stumble with our interpretations of religion and spirituality,but the key is to not give up.yes ,the paradox of acceptance and not giving up comes into play.but acceptance is not giving up.it is merely the acceptance that a bad phenomena has taken place.our brains have interpreted it as best they could.
the formula for my disorder is:

SUPERSTION+COINCIDENCE=BAD FATE

this is as simple as i can make my disorder.

now, i can stay stuck in rumination and that of being doomed to bad fate.or, i can accept this ocd formula of thinking i have developed,and realize i can make improvement.i am not stuck to the obsession that im caught up in.or rather,i may be stuck in it and accept it and realize in the future i can be rid of it.WE HAVE TO SEE THE LIE THAT OUR OCD THINKING IS TELLING US,NO MATTER HOW SEEMINGLY LOGICAL OUR OCD THOUGHTS SEEM TO BE VALIDATED.
the thing i hate the most about this disorder is trying to explain it in a reasonable fashion without someone saying he's just a nut.i have done that here.lol.
may you not miss the beauty of the forest due to the ugliness of some of its trees!God bless!j

it keeps going ..and going

hello all.i see i havent posted in awhile.i really want to see this blog continue to survive and receive more comments,so please,if you are one of us pure-o,s take a minute and post a comment.
i have been reading on this new DBS(deep brain stimulation)device they have come up with at the clevelnd clinic.i dont know if i want the pacemakers in my chest,but i think it could work.i would feel like such freak ,though.more evidence of my false-pride screwing me up.i should be grateful they have this device. i think i would qualify, because i have tried all ssri's and some anti-psychotics to no avail over the last 11 years.i think i may check into it.i've about had it with how i am,feeling that i cant work a job because of this.i'm fortuntate to go to school,cause i can still study,but work is a different thing.i would just stand there and ruminate on matching coincidences and bad luck.i may go on section-8 housing,god willing.i think what is so torturous about this disorder is the guilt one feels about 'not trying hard enough' and that we are just lazy guys making this stuff up.that really irks me.if not for pureo and colby,the guys i met to form this site,i wouldn't have taken my ocd as seriously.i would have suffered in silence. but i now feel a need to come out with some advocacy work.i have been too proud and scared of what people might think and do,like i was vulnerable.i may go to NAMI marches and suff ,but would just feel like such a freak.its like i have a mental illness,but i get by just day to day.do i really want to go to the lengths of advocacy and DBS?ITS A VERY HARD CHOICE.please, anyone with exprience in this area ,share it with us here on the blog.god take you through all your ocd fears!j