hello all. hope you had a good easter no matter what your faith. i know for a fact the ocd thought process in my head is a faith buster, not a faith builder.im using aa 12 steps to recover.it has a christian slant to it, which is fine. i do believe christ was the son of god.however,christianity wont solve my problem. i can use christian principles to solve them though. alcoholics need to commence on a simpler level and keep it simple.jesus knows this, i truly believe in my heart. what i dont need is alot of debate about religion.
also, to get over the ocd i think we need a higher power we can believe in that will grant us all the positive aspects of spirituality. one that we know can overcome any ocd phenomena we encounter.
heres an example of how complex an alcoholic/ocd mind works. i like fantasy baseball. i was reading on a player named ,say chris rock.i match coincidences and they validate my bad luck thinking. as i read the players name, i heard the word 'rock' on the radio. then ,in my next thought 'i thought 'see it never stops'[the coincidences]. all this did was match my thinking with an outside source. this being a typical rock radio ad, where the slogan was '92 rock,where it never stops' i think," how can what i thought match up with the radio.?" probability thinking can drive you mad.i went on to think i would turn into the baseball player[delusional].
anyway ,all this deep thinking really scared the shit out of me.so i have to do a ritual to break my chain of thought.the problem is ,it already happened.how can one take back whats been written in stone?how can one go back to being a cucumber after he turns into a pickle? lol.
this is where the higher power comes in.if i can truly believe in a loving god that can make my coincidental obsession invalid,then i am free!the hard part is getting the mind to 'click that switch'.the obsession is like a car stuck between gears and just rotating.
i must admit it helps alot to talk about it and i appreciate any comments as do all of us here on the site.weve been at it for awhile and some comments would boost the morale.may your higher power take away all your fears!j
