repulsion

hey all.ive noticed alot of ocd is based around repulsion.not wanting to turn into someone else is just that i am repulsed by that person in some way.then if i add coincidences to it it makes it worse,as in pureo's case.
today i was in the library and thought i saw this guy who is nerdy.i didnt think anything of it until i gabbed my coffee cup and saw him take a drink from his.then my ocd said i will be him from now on.i even had a problem throwing the cup away, because i didnt want it to match up evenly where he was sitting.i play endless magical thinking games like this with my ocd.the end result is loosing myself to someone else, or some kind of condemnation,whether it be to another person or just for eternity.so ill purposely not act nerdy for awhile.act real cool.lol.i think im beyond that now that im so sick.
anyway,thats how all my magical thinking got started when i was in 8 th grade.i was repulsed by a guy in band and my ocd said i would turn into him.something happened at 44 minutes after the hour and ive been avoiding the number ever since.
so next time you have an incident,check and see if repulsion has anything to do with it.j