Physical and mental Pain

Ok...I have a sharp pain shooting in the right side of my brain. i saw a doctor about this and he put me on topamax. It was embarrasing to tell the general physician I think about being a retarted girl for all eternity. Don't know if it will help but its for atypical migraines. its also used off label to treat ptsd. I just hope this crap works. My headaches are worse than ever. Im gonna get an mri and blood test as well. But the whole coincidence thing that happened 3 years ago is all what is behind the anxiety i still believe. If only it never happened. Well guess what it did. I played into the devil's game inadvertantly. Well i dont believe in the devil i believe that the devil is our evil inclination and when we think negative thoughts we can just screw ourselves over with external events. There are no coincidences in life. What happened was has already taken place in the world of the Supreme Being. I dont want to give up on life, im fighting this but how much can I fight myself before I crack. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while i have been busy at work and too depressed to even tallk about this but i feel its time to do some venting. My sex drive is very low and that can be caused due to stress or a number of factors such as med (ssris, benzos). Embarrasing to talk about eh. Well i dont give a crap anymore. try to take care of your own issues. I'm still coping on mine. And remember there is no magical cure just pray to the one above and try to keep a positive frame of mind despite all the negative that is up there in your head. pz out ~ pureo